For Me and My House, We Choose to be Moms

There is no greater joy in this earthly life than family.

As a young wife and mother, I loved and adored my husband and children; I counted it a privilege and responsibility to be a mother. And it was a blessing beyond all measures.

During the early 1980s, right at the start of the feminist movement, I recall being timid whenever anyone asked me what I “did” for a living. I always coward to hear their response of, “Oh your just a housewife,” – the politically correct term of homemaker hadn’t caught on yet. I would avoid being asked that question at all costs, and found myself making up excuses why I was home raising my three daughters instead of letting some paid daycare worker watch them while I earned a living doing something else. I even received a bit of grief from my extended family; you see they had high hopes for me, because I was a good student and graduated in the top ten of my class.

My three beauties; Rebekah, Sarah and Micah

As I studied the scriptures, I discovered that I had nothing to be ashamed of as this profession – the oldest of all professions – was God ordained. I became proud of being a stay-at-home mom and also a bit defensive of my career of choice. When people would say to me, “Oh you don’t have a job?” I would reply with, “If motherhood is done right, it is the hardest job in the world.” And that is the truth. Dealing with children all day is exhausting and stressful. The constant worry that you are not “doing” it right, or that you might inadvertently make a mistake and scar your child for life kept me from sleeping on more than one night. But I stuck with it and did the very best that I could do.

Now, I don’t mean to demean any woman who chose or had to work to help support her family, but for me and my house, we chose to make sacrifices so I could stay home and raise my three beautiful daughters and to later homeschool them. And the fruition of my labors were three girls that barely gave me any reason to regret my choices. To say they were all perfect angels would be a lie, for all of us are human and sinners by nature; but I was never ashamed of anything they did. They were loving, talented, selfless children and teenagers, and I was always proud of them and their accomplishments.

Today, they are beautiful women whom I am extremely proud; two are now stay-at-home moms with three children of their own (a one has a fourth on the way), and my youngest, who has not yet started a family, is a registered nurse and getting her Master’s Degree in Literature. The young mothers also homeschool their young broods.

Today they are still my Three Beauties; Rebekah, Micah and Sarah

Recently, I ran across that same condescending question about working outside of the home but in reference to my daughters. I felt that same defensive shame creep up as I made excuses as to why my daughter was not working but staying home to raise her own children. Excuses like, It would cost a fortune for daycare for that many children, and she is homeschooling – all of which were true. I later chastised myself. For you see, although all my daughters are extremely intelligent and talented, I raised and taught them that when they grew up, they could be or do anything they desired. The lesson always continued with a “but.” “But, when you choose to become a mother, your most important and rewarding job would be to raise your own children,” I would admonish.

Apparently this lesson stuck, because that is exactly what they are doing. Yes, it requires great sacrifice. Our family has never been able to take a lot of vacations or have the best cars, but we always have had everything we needed. The rewards far outweigh the sacrifices – I have fantastic grandchildren with whom, like their parents, I am very proud. They are happy, well-adjusted and extremely loving. They are being raised in the Light of God’s Word and they are a joy to not only their parents but to all of their grandparents.

The only thing more joyous than being a parent is being a grandparent. Christmas 2012

Wanted to update this post: Christmas 2013 with Chloe Willow added to our ranks!

Would they be the same if they were raised in a daycare or with a babysitter? Perhaps, but then the one who would be losing out would be the parent. Not to see the first step or hear the first word is so heartbreaking to so many working moms and my heart goes out to them.

In the end, it is a choice. Not everyone chooses the same – and that’s okay too. But as I said, “For me and my house, this was and is our choice.”

And I refuse to be ashamed of this choice ever again.

I declare myself human

By Darla Welchel

About a year ago, I started doing something to protest hate in this world and against those who would strive to keep it alive.
When filling out forms (the older you get, the more you have to do this), it asked my race.
I realized I didn’t like this question. In fact, it felt like, to me, this question does a lot to keep people segregated and keeps hate alive.
I started refusing to answer it, but I knew simply “opting out” was not the answer. So, I began writing in – even though there was no space for it – “Human.”
I know this won’t really make a difference in the scheme of things, but change has to start somewhere no matter how small.
In the recent days, the media has been showering the country with one race-related story or another. And, as often media does, there weren’t any feel-good stories, only those about discord and hate.
In Oklahoma, the current news is all about spending tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands to change the names of schools that bare the name of men who lived in the South and fought for the Confederacy.
This is silly, not just because it will tax an already weak education budget, but because, good or bad, these men are a part of our history. Atrocities were committed on both sides of the war.
My cousin posted  a statement on Facebook – just to get a laugh – that since so many denominations of US currency had pictures of former Confederate men, that people shouldn’t use it, instead, they should send all their currency to him.
He got one heated response from a person protesting about the atrocities slaves endured at the hand of these Southerners.
I responded back to this person that my own direct ancestors were put in the Auschwitz concentration camp, because my family wasn’t “German” enough. My maiden name was Selzler – can’t get much more German than that, or so I thought. (Turns out we were Russian Germans)
I also said, “That doesn’t make me hate all Germans. These horrific acts happened in the past and painful as it is, it is still part of world history – lest we forget. This is the present, and I’m looking toward a future where there is no such thing as race. I’m human and I love all humans.”
It should be pointed out, it wasn’t only the South that held slaves; many in the North did as well, there just wasn’t as many. Most of the North decided to stand against the wrong that was being done to other humans and fight – often their brothers – in one of our county’s deadliest wars.
And if people will truly look at history, all cultures – even those from Africa – used slaves, and in some countries, the “Cast” system and even slavery are still heavily used today. Not all slavers hunted down innocent villagers in Africa to get slaves; many were purchased from other Africans.
The United States is not the only country with an ugly past. The things that were done in the name of inhabiting (conquering) are unspeakable, disturbing and heartbreaking. And not just concerning slaves, look what was done with the first inhabitants of America. And yes, I will agree, there is still a lot of inequality taking place in the “Good Ol USA.”
But, I believe it is the overuse and over reactionary responses from the media and on social media that is keeping the hate alive.
The past is there to remind us how NOT to be – to remind us NOT to repeat the ugliness that took place. No one alive today has been through that shameful part of the United State’s past that included slavery. And, I’m pretty sure that no one alive traveled the Trail of Tears. But to pretend it didn’t happen, or worse, to act like it still happens today is asinine.
If we humans don’t put all that hate aside and start to try to mend our differences, we will once again be plunged into hate-driven war between ourselves. Instead of grouping up in hate groups, we need to learn from the past and move forward to a civilized society of love and equality.
America was founded on differences; difference of religious beliefs is what drove the earliest settlers here in the first place. We need to embrace our uniqueness and start treating each other with love and not hate. Often times hating one’s self is what causes them to hate others.
But, we cannot simply ignore our past just because it offends some. It is what it is, and in spite of it all, America is still one of the best countries to live in.
Ignorance breeds fear, fear breeds hate, hate hurts all humans.

Fall Contrast

I love the contrast of the very green moss and the colors of autumn in this shot. God does such pretty work!

Old and New

The Royalty of the Insect World

Like stained glass on wings, the Monarch butterfly is as beautiful to gaze upon as it sits sipping nectar from a flower as it is in flight.

Full Splendor

Just a sip

This fellow, battered and worn, has seen endless days of Oklahoma winds

All were taken at the Myriad Gardens in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

The Danger of What We Eat

With Isis and Ebola taking over the airwaves, Internet and newsprint, our country is in a constant state of fear for the safety of our families.
But it is not what is attacking us from beyond our boarders that we should be concerned about, but the attack on the health and well being of our children from within our own government that should have us most concerned.
I recently watched the documentary narrated by Katie Couric, Fed Up, an up-close look at the Big Food industry and how it is literally killing, not only our children, but eventually all Americans.

I know this sounds a bit drastic and over the top, but the simple fact is that this is not a new problem and our government – influenced by Big Money from Big Foods, is jeopardizing America’s health in order to keep their pockets nice and fleeced.
Fed Up takes a look at nearly 40 years of cover-ups by the government. It will make you mad when you watch it; it did me. In fact, I watched it more than once and got angrier every time I did. But I’m a journalist, and nothing can be changed or influenced by anger, so I write.
Although I’m not a fan of Couric with her extreme liberal slants, she took an honest bi-partisan look into this current healthcare crisis.
The movie focuses on how Big Food has targeted our children to sell their products. Through commercials, Internet and toys designed to make them wanting to come back for more, children (and adults) are constantly bombarded with images, smells and tastes that all tell them to eat more.

Full of countless interviews with experienced and respected professionals, Fed Up, uncovers the ugly truth about sugar. It is in almost all of our foods, whether it is really needed or not. In fact, one expert reported that American food shelves carry over 600,000 items and over 80 percent of them have added sugar.
Now sugar is addictive, very addictive, and it is introduced and fed to children – sometimes from birth (it is added to lactose-free formula). Children get it from morning until night – as do many adults. Like I said, the health reports on the danger of too much sugar have been covered up for over 40 years.
In the coming weeks, I will be sharing some of the more unsettling and blatant truths about sugar, Big Food and the government’s involvement with the cover-ups.
I would highly recommend that everyone watch this documentary. You can check it out from a library or buy it for under $10 on Amazon.com. If your still not sure if you want to watch Fed Up, check out the movie’s website at http://fedupmovie.com/#/page/home.

A Girl’s Other Best Friend

Ooh! Fall! Time for fires, warm afghans and hot chocolate! Enjoy!

Through The Lens

We all know that a girl’s best friend is supposed to be a diamond. Or so the saying goes.

Sparkleies! I love sparkleies!

I’m not sure where the saying originated; probably some post war-era idea that a girl is not complete or happy unless she is engaged or married. I’m not sure exactly how I feel about that, but before you get all anti-femminisim on me – that’s not what this post is about. Although I do have to give a shout-out to all the strong young women who are not yet wed and are still waiting for Mr. Right to come along and propose.

For Me, I just like Sparkly things. Yes, I love being married too and will have been for 34 years this coming March, but I have to say, I just love the way gems sparkle and make me feel pretty. But again I digress. This post…

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Weekly Photo Challange & Prayer Request: Spring

Spring signifies life; and with all this budding of life that is surrounding all of us this time of year, I am sadden by death.

My daddy-n-law, who is one of the most awesome guys I know is loosing his battle with this life. He is 84 and has COPD for a long time. Yesterday, we brought him home to die. He is ready and even a bit excited to leave this mortal world of pain and loneliness (his beloved wife passed 10 years ago), but he grieves for our sadness.

As you look at these few images of spring in Oklahoma, please say a little prayer for AC that his passing will be gentle and surrounded by those who love and adore him. Thank you.

Tulips and Johnny Jump Ups greet spring like an old friend.

Pop, even in his suffering, he has a smile and a joke for everyone.

Jonquils

tulip just opening

Seven of pops nine Oklahoma Great Grands. (Ethan and Mac had stayed home while mom took Isabelle – far left to the doctor). From left Isabelle, Aeden, Caera. Riley, Cameron, Owen and Chloe. He also has two California greats, Chris and Dillon.

Close up serenity

 

Let There Be LIFE

I always get giddy when, after the deadness of winter, life begins to show up around my place. Although I have a notorious brown thumb, blooms and buds seem to somehow survive the winter and me! I think is is appropriate we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus during the spring when new life abounds around us to remind us that HE too died and rose again, for us. Happy Easter

Intermixed with all the green, the burnt red of this oak leaf add more color and depth to my landscape

Tiny Cyprus buds. This tree in the pine family looses is needles every fall, littering my yard not only with their large bumpy knees, but also an abundance of rust-colored needles!

minute testaments to new life!

Flowers and warts: The redbud tree – Oklahoma’s State tree – gets many of these “wart-like” growths along branches and they are usually surrounded by more buds.

This very tiny offshoot resembles the larger version of itself.

I shot this in color and converted to black and white, then took it one step further by bringing back the color of the buds in the next image.

I love the way – in the absence of limbs – the buds will find a way to bloom! I think they are my favorite part of this tree.

My redbud tree (sadly beginning to die off) gives me many opportunities for spring photos. Silhouetted against a bright and beautiful spring sky brings happiness and hope.

Don’t be fooled by this large bloom, it is in fact just over a 1/4 inch across. Creeping phlox are the first to show their bright faces as they carpet my garden path!

Have a beautiful week!

A Mama’s Hope

From my friend and fellow blogger, Paula Blaxton!

stuff i tell my sister

John 3:16 For God So Loved the World ~
Found in the Moore tornado debris.

Good Friday.  I never really understood why it was called good.  I’ve read the account repeatedly.  I could understand Easter being called “Good Sunday”.  But Friday was a horrific day for Jesus.  For those that loved Him.  For His mama.

When I ponder on the heartache I have held for my own children, I cannot begin to  imagine Mary’s.  Illness.  Struggles. Disappointment.  Mistakes.  A mama wants to fix these things for her children, no matter their age.  The hardest place is when you come to the realization that you have no power to change a circumstance.  Were the many prayers sent up for this child all in vain?

And then I reflect upon Mary.  She had no power.  No prayer left.  Her heart exposed.  I cannot help but wonder, when her eyes met His…

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Simplicity

I took this inside the Myriad Botanical Gardens; the lighting was perfect!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflection

Whether its in glass, water, chrome or a mirror, light and images can be captured and reflected back for a view that is just a little bit tweaked! Often distorted, sometimes funny and always beautiful, reflections capture the imagination and the shutter time of many photographers. Here are a few of mine ranging from planned portraits to moments of opportunities, but always some of my favorites.

Enjoy!

Beautiful lights, cold crisp night and a still pond make for a perfect picture.

Baby Auzy loved the mirror.

Christmas in Oklahoma City

This is one I did for a car show piece I was covering. How to capture classic cars in a new and interesting way? This was my solution.

Fine art reflection

During a photo shoot, I threw the mirror on the ground and just let the babe crawl all over it.

I loved the way the light is reflected off the bubbles.

Just checking out my reflection!

Have a wonderful week!